I slaved over this poem for two days trying to get the rhythm correct. I still have not perfected it. If there is anyone out there who is a poetry doctor and can fix the rhythm for me...I would like that. A lot.
Anyway, my poem:
If you go to the Bigelow's
Make sure you're nicely dressed
For their hospitality bestows
Silk napkins freshly pressed
If you go to the Jone's house
Bring a bouquet of flowers
For your hostess shall surely douse
You in blessings, in torrents and showers
When you visit the Doyle residence
Mind your p's and q's
Not that they're rich (they live in tents)
And none of them have any shoes
And never, I repeat, never, go to Mr. Rousseau's
Because he will french fry all of your fingers
And hard boil all of you toes
Around his house never linger
Those are the people on Mulberry Street
I might exaggerate, I do not lie
These people with obsessions of napkins and feet
Are the ones with whom I live, and try not to die...
I don't see a rhythm problem anywhere!! I like this one x)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would say--if you're willing to take my advice--is that in the fourth stanza, don't question whether to put the "s" there or not. It doesn't matter if "fingers" is plural, and "linger" is singular. They rhyme fine without them both being singular or both being plural. I used to think that that was like a "poetry sin" or something, but eventually I realized that it doesn't really matter! Other than that, the rhythm seems absolutely fine. :-D (I mean, I wouldn't consider myself an expert or anything...)
ReplyDeleteAlso, your blog is adorable!
Thank you so much! I will fix that 's'...I have noticed that quite a few poets don't worry about the plural/singular problem. It drives me nuts, but I can see that it is something I can probably let go without causing too much harm.
DeleteThanks for the advice!