The Father's Lament

You were early, because your mother is late
You came because your mother had to go
I'm sorry for your loneliness, sorry for your fate
I'm sorry that alone is the only thing you'll know

I don't know how to care for you
I don't know how to father
I don't know how we will make do
With all we have to weather

I will try my best for you and for her
I will provide the best way I know how
I will try my best, but I'll fail, I'm sure
I will make a future for you, starting right now

death, dying, dead

I'm a little black rain cloud
Hovering over your head
I'm a little dark death shroud
Come to take you to bed

I bite you in the day
Take you away at night
With me forever you'll stay
There is no taking flight

Forever loathing am I
Forever hating mankind
Forever I'll kill, forever you'll die
Your treacherous deed ever on my mind

Heaven's Dust

Heaven's dust

Satan's lust

Guard your heart

Take no part

In sinful deeds

Sow the seeds

Reap the cost

Your soul is lost

Your head on fire

Foul desire

Heaven's light

Hides the night

Flee resentment

Have contentment

The devil grins

When evil wins

Fight the flesh

Your heart will mesh

Good and bad

War be had

Some will die

Some will lie

Heaven's fire

Darkened mire

All the pain

No more gain

Punishment

Take the hint

All is lost

Forgotten cost

We are gone

Life goes on

Don't burn the music

You shouldn't be doing this.
You shouldn't give up.
You worked too hard to give it all up.
Don't you remember all the music? Don't you remember the magic?
Don't waste everything you aspired to do.
Don't you remember all the promises you made to yourself?

Does it hurt you? Does the music bring you pain?
Can you think of nothing besides yourself?
We loved your music...Is that not enough for you?

The ball in the wall

This picture is from my dear friend Claire. Check out her blog HERE

So the story goes:

"Carrie! Hurry. I hear someone coming!" Joan whispered urgently.

"Oh no!" Carrie peered through the vines from her high vantage point, "It's Mary."

Joan let out an exasperated groan. 

"Joan! I'm slipping!" Carrie's foot slipped an inch down on Joan's slender shoulders.

"Do you have the ball?" Joan shrugged, causing her friend's footing to shift into a safer position.

Carrie blindly groped through the vines on the wall. "It's just above my head. I don't know if I can reach it!"

"Hurry! Mary is coming!" Joan grew tense as the tattle-tailing girl skipped nearer to them.

Joan knew she and Carrie would be in huge trouble if either of their mothers heard of them playing in the Baxter's yard without permission.

"What are you doing?" Mary Baxter sneered at Joan's terrified expression.

"Our ball just bounced away from us. We were trying to get it down." Joan stuttered. 

"Were you playing in my yard?"

Joan's grip on Carrie's ankles tightened. Carrie lost her balance and slid down the wall, madly grabbing the vines to slow her fall. Her knee scraped badly on the brick and she cried out.

Joan went at once to her friend's side, ignoring Mary's inquiry.

"Are you all right?"

"It's nothing." Carrie said, pulling her skirt over the wound. 

"Do you need a bandage?" Mary asked politely.

Joan and Carrie looked up in surprise. Were these manners coming from their snobby neighbor?

"I have some inside." Mary offered. "And if you still need help retrieving that ball, maybe it would be safer if I got some sort of stool?"

Joan was shocked and couldn't reply. Carrie remembered herself and spoke, "Yes, thank you."

Mary ran off and got what she had spoke of. A few minutes later she came back, wrapped Carrie's cut, wheeled out her bike, and she herself stood atop it to get her neighbor's ball.

She handed it to Joan.

"Thank you." Joan breathed in astonishment.

Mary gave her usual sneer, but Joan realized that it was only a smile. Mary couldn't help the sarcastic looking smile she naturally had.

Joan smiled in return.

"May I play ball with you?" Mary asked.

"Definitely."

Oh! Look at all the people!

So when I looked out the window, for the first time I realize that I am not alone. All the people passing by me, they are just like me.
They all have lives.
They all have personalities.
They all have family.
They all have friends.
They all have homes.
They all have hobbies.
Suddenly,  I want to meet them all. I want to take them all by the hand and lead them to a place far away from this smoggy city. I want to take them to a safe haven, where we can talk. Just talk. I want to know all about them. Each and every one of them.
I want to ask them what they think about. I want to ask them what their dreams are. I want to ask them their opinions on everything.
I want to value them as people. I want to have them as friends. 
They must all be interesting. They must be, because they are like me.

I think about how crazy everything is. I think about the world spinning on, and all the people living. We all live on one little planet, and hardly any one knows more than 0.000000085* percent of the people on it.
I decide to change that statistic! If I know one more person than I did this morning, and next week I was going to know fourteen more. What if I met a new person every day? That would be at least 365 people in a year, at the very least!
I could change that percent to knowing .000000138%** of the people on earth! I am excited now. Imagine all those people. All those faces. All those ideas. All those opinions....
I think of all the movie stars, politicians, and prodigies, if they are regarded for their talents, opinions, and hobbies, then shouldn't we all be as well? Nothing makes the rest of us different from the famed, except popularity, I guess.
I can't meet all the famous people, but since we are all the same, then meeting 'ordinary' people will be just as fantastic.

Now, I walk out on the street. My thoughts running wild with questions I can ask them. All the people swarming around me. All of them going on with their lives. It is intriguing to watch them. Sometimes I have watched them all from above in my office in the sky-scraper. They walk to and fro like little ants all with a purpose to make this city great, to make this country better, and to keep the world spinning on. They all have a purpose, they all have a goal. And I want to know exactly what each and every one of them are doing to get there.


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*tell me if my math is wrong. The average person knows 600 people. There are (estimated) 7 billion people on earth. 600/7billion=8.5x10^-8
**That is 600+365=965/7 billion=1.38x10^-7

Where has all my music gone?

Where has all my music gone?
Where are the harmonies I have drawn?
Where is that melody, where is that song?
All of those tunes I have loved for so long

Where are the notes and the chords and the keys?
Where did they go, I'm weak in the knees...
I'm fainting, I'm fading! Part of me gone.
Look at the moon, full, waxing, and wan

It is dark. It is cold.
I'm hungering and old.
Where did I lose it? Where did it go?
What do I have? What can I show?

All the music is gone. All the music is lost.
Oh, the price I have paid. I weep at the cost.
I can't find the melody. I can't find the song.
Maybe I didn't have it. Never had it all along...