Idols

November 18, 2013

Idols are strange things. They come upon us with no warning and leave us feeling empty and lost. I speak from experience. It may seem strange or silly, but I idolized a fictional character.

He was handsome, intriguing, fascinating, hurt, rejected, misunderstood, strong, seeking appreciation, turned to be an antagonist because of the wrongs committed against him, and I wished more than anything I could give him love. Love was what would change him. It would help him; it would fix him. 

 

Hear me out. Other fan girls have done the same thing. And if you are one, you are thinking: “Just because I really like this guy, just because I have posters of him all over my walls, just because I daydream about him night and day, doesn’t mean that he’s my idol.”

I’m here to tell you, yes it does.

When we have something other than God sitting on the throne of our hearts, we have an idol. It doesn’t matter if your idol is pretend, fictional, and/or imaginary…

I learned the hard way. I thought about him night and day. I daydreamed what it would be like if I was in his story. I wrote fan fiction about me being his love interest. 

It was fun. It was satisfying. It filled me and gave me emotional highs. 

But the more I went on, the more I had to think about it, read about it, write about it. And more and more, it wouldn’t fill me up like it used too. 

And so, I was emptied. My idol had consumed me to a point where I had nothing left to give to it. I could never meet the guy. I only had his movies to fulfill me. 

Now I felt stupid. I was an idiot. I let myself fall so far down, that climbing out of that deep dark hole was going to be hard and painful. But I did it. And I stand triumphant today…Although today I read this:

“All those who make idols are worthless, and the gods they prize so highly are useless. Those who worship these gods are blind and ignorant-and they will be disgraced. It does no good to make a metal image to worship as a god! Everyone who worships it will be humiliated. The people who make idols are human beings and nothing more. Let them come and stand trial-they will be terrified and will suffer disgrace.

The metal worker takes a piece of metal and works with it over a fire. His strong arm swings a hammer to pound the metal into shape. As he works, he gets hungry, thirsty, and tired.

The carpenter measures the wood. He outlines a figure with chalk, carves it out with tools, and makes it in the form of a man, and handsome human figure, to be placed in his house. He might cut down cedars to use, or choose oak or cypress wood from the forest. Or he might plant a laurel tree and wait for the rain to make it grow. A person uses part of a tree for fuel and part of it for making an idol. With one part he builds a fire to warm himself and bake bread; with the other part he makes a god and worships it. With some of the wood he makes a fire; he roasts meat, eats it and is satisfied. He warms himself and says, “How nice and warm! What a beautiful fire!” The rest of the wood he makes into an idol, and then he bows down and worships it. He prays to it and says, “You are my god-save me!”

Such people are too stupid to know what they are doing. They close their eyes and minds to the truth. The maker of idols hasn’t the wit or the sense to say, “Some of the wood I burned up. I baked some bread on the coals, and I roasted meat and ate it. And the rest of the wood I made into an idol. Here I am bowing down to a block of wood!”

It makes as much sense as eating ashes. His foolish ideas have so misled him that he is beyond help. He won’t admit to himself that the idol he holds in his hands is not a god at all.” (Isaiah 44:9-20)

So, I admitted to myself…Myself, you were an idiot.

Thankfully, I no longer have him as my idol. Unfortunately, however, I’ve dragged a friend into the mire. I introduced her to the marvels of his beauty, the splendor of his story, and the wonders of his power. She is falling into the same pit I fell in and I don’t know how to catch her.

I shall pray. I shall tell her how badly it’ll hurt when she hits the bottom. I shall pray some more. I can’t save her, although I was the one who did this.

I am burdened with glorious purpose!

November 10, 2013

In church, I learn a lot. I happen to pay attention to what my pastor says. Before recently, I never knew the Bible was quite so interesting.

I decided the knowledge was just too good to keep to myself. So I’ll tell you what fascinating things I learned:

God made us with a goal in mind. He gave each and every one of us a purpose for our   lives. He bestowed upon us all gifts to use for His glory. 

It’s so cool to have a Bible verse or philosophy suddenly come alive, and be able to know what it means in my life.

So here is what my light bulb moment was: 

God gave me the ability to write. I want to use this gift selfishly. It’s so much fun to write for fun and to use these words to make myself feel nice. But God gave me words, language, pens, paper in order to give all the glory back to Him!

I use this amazing ability for my own good, when He purposed it to work for Him and other people.

This is the reason I started a blog. I wanted to share this goodness that He gave me. Because it really is fantastic and I suppose I can be proud of the talent He gave me, because no credit at all can go to me.

Ramblings...

November 9, 2013

Today I decided that I am not ashamed of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.

That may seem odd, as I, being a Christian, am commanded not to be ashamed of him anyways. But, I tell you, it is odd for me to say it as well as believe it truly in my heart.

I have been inspired (it seems more often than not that other people inspire me, rather than me inspiring other people, which is what I would rather do…although, if I lose the ability to be inspired, then I lose the ability to inspire as well…). I have been inspired by a girl whom I met at the conference a few weeks ago.

She is a choir girl and goes to church, and sings about Jesus. She doesn’t care who knows that she goes to church. She doesn’t care who knows that she believes in God.

I decided that I’m stupid, and my excuse: I’m homeschooled. I didn’t know how the world works. I didn’t know that some people just don’t care what I believe. I didn’t know that there are nice atheists out there who believe in me as a person, who care about me, and respect what I believe. I didn’t know that a lot of people don’t mind if I talk about that I believe in Jesus. I just didn’t know…

I’m not saying that I resent being homeschooled, not at all. But it helps to meet other people outside of my little world. People who have different backgrounds than I do. People who have different life experiences that I can learn from. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love being homeschooled. I have second chances with homework. I have textbooks that work better than those idiotic computers that have been issued. I have all the time in the world for the subjects that I need all the time in the world for. I have an incredibly small student to teacher ratio. I have a teacher that understands where I need the most help, and the teacher gives me the most help.

So homeschooling works, for me, at least. I know some kids who work better learning with peers. So public school works for them.

It all depends on the kid.

All that reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my friends (who does not happen to be homeschooled.) She goes to a public  school, close to where I live, which has recently adopted a learning curriculum that involves the use of computers as textbooks. 

I personally hate computers. But I understand that this the way our American  society is leaning. Computer technology is an incredibly useful skill, and by all means, I endorse it as prosperous. 

Yet, what my friend was telling me was that the school system completely abandoned all use of normal textbooks (‘normal’ being two hard or paperback covers that contain pages in between them and hold useful and interesting reading material and also a small bit of magic per page…) in order to better adapt to this generation.

I spoke to this city’s school president (or whatever she is supposed to be called) and what she told me was that kids today are wired to learning through technology. “Just look around,” she said, “all the kids have their phones and computers out; this is where our future is going.” She wanted to help be a part of making our education system better and more adapted to modern children.

Unfortunately, I disagreed, and had not the courage to correct her where she was wrong. (I am a polite and courteous girl, and dislike having to quarrel with my elders.) What I would have said was, “Kids aren’t wired this way. This is the way the adult generation, who sit in labs trying ‘to make life better or easier’ and are actually making life worse, are making us to be. They equip us with these so called ‘tools’, that end up destroying our brains, expecting us to learn, while we wile away the hours on social media, awful websites, online gaming, and other various time wasters. 

 “Furthermore, my generation did not grow up with these technological toys. I have consulted another public schooled friend and her story is similar to mine:

“My particular family only recently bought a computer. When I was young, I happened to thrive on books. My mind developed peacefully, playing in the outdoors. I did not have to deal with a Wii or DS to distract me from my work, only rigorous exercise for my brain and body.

“But now these ‘tools for learning’, the computer, iPod, iPad, laptop, they distract me, and take away essential time that I need to study, to employ it in watching Youtube, listening to Pandora, or doddling around on Pinterest.

“Another thing I would have you know, is that my two (and only two) classes I have taken on the computer, I failed. I could not concentrate on reading my science on a screen. And I could not manage to manage all the cells and formulas that are so complicated in Excel.

 “This is not to mention that there is a huge problem with online textbooks. My pupil, whom I tutor in geometry, is having a difficult time getting on her online textbook. The system can easily overload with the number of students who are trying to study on the site, and she has to hurry up to be the first person online in order to keep up with her class.

“Therefore, I completely disagree with the path that you are taking our children down. And I would have you know that when I grow up and have children, I am homeschooling them, and letting them learn in the most efficient way possible, THROUGH BOOKS.”

And after everyone in the room was finished clapping, I woke up to find that I still had Algebra to do…

Update!

I have not posted lately since I have been away, but with a handy-dandy iPod that my very bestest friends gave me, I have been able to write on the go!

So here is an update of what has happened to me over the course of this past week: 

10/28/13

I have amazing news! Dad's boss talked to him about staying on until the end if the pay period! Which means we have until the end of the month to find a new job! I say we because everyone in this family is in this together. Dad isn't alone in his search for a job. We've got his back. 

How could we abandon someone who helps with homework and learns the subject when he didn't know it before? How could we abandon someone who takes care of our home and defends it from the invasion of pesky ants? (which happened, first it was the cockroaches, then ants, and now moths...) AND How could we abandon someone who does everything in his power to give us a good future?

I am forever indebted to my father because he takes care of me when I'm sick. He gives me opportunities to learn. He helps me make things better for myself. Today I asked him for help on some troublesome homework (Chemistry=yuck). He helped me, and I didn't find out until later that he had planned on sending out resumes. I apologized for distracting him from his work, but he relied with a big hug, "Helping you with your stuff means more to me than what I was going to do." 

I know God has blessed me with an amazing family; sometimes I realize it more than other times. 

10/31/13

So with dad's last day of work (again) being Thursday, God has really provided (again). Dad has an interview with a company (which he worked for a few years ago) on Friday. It just amazes me how much God provides for us, one little family. We are in His hands and there is nothing that can take us out. Like the hymn In Christ Alone says: No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand!

In every lite thing He cares. The smallest things we do matter to Him. 

11/4/13

Dads interview went terrifically! He got the job! I don't know if I'm surprised or not...I just know that I'm grateful. I knew God would take care of us!

 the reason I hadn't been posting lately:

Youth Leadership Conference

I went to a conference this past week . I was a team leader and had to take care of twelve students. This was not the first time I had done something like this. In fact, last year I was an assistant team leader. 

 

It's a really fun job and I had a great time. I learn a lot every year I go. The first year I went, I was a student. But every  year since then I have learned more and more to build off of my first year's basic knowledge of leadership, American heritage and patriotism, as well as free enterprise.

It's really good stuff and I have no idea where to begin, but I feel it is my American duty to tell all American people what knowledge I have gained!

So I'll try writing a rough draft by hand (because I think better that way, and to be honest...I really hate technology...but it really is great for getting what I have to say out to the world...my problem is just trying to figure out how to use it...I wrote a paper about it...maybe I'll post it sometime...) and then once I have written it, I'll do a second draft on the computer, then I'll edit it...and then maybe I'll post it...

If I don't then I really just recommend looking up what the Youth Leadership Conference is for yourself. It is a really amazing program! I recommend it for any person in highschool!

And when your older, you can go back as staff (which is what I did) and that makes a resume look absolutely beautiful! (like mine!)